Today

Today it seems everything is difficult. Today it seems all is ok. Today is what makes me. How what why of being me. Today every thing seems obvoiusly correct. Then today it all seems to contradict itself. This today seems so different from the one yesterday. And who knows tomorrow.

sometimes the threads that bind a relation are so thin that even small currents in life can break them .
distances which dont always translate into in to miles can exist between people  in anykind of relation .

anger

Anger and what causes it ?
 firstly we are never free of it we just learn to not show it when its not so appropriate .

but the real question is what gets a man to get angry .Ladies dont need to get angry over it as i can only talk bout men and have no idea what makes women angry ! We stand up and speak out for something then find that some people  , whom we were expecting to agree with , not agreeing to us . Does that make us angry . it does most of the times . should it ? May be not but it does . It seems that an argument is just a civilised expression of anger over disagreement . 

What should be allowed to transgress our domestication into making us the beasts we become when we are angry ? Principles , ideologies, ideas our own self centered self congratulatory narcissist attitude which will always make a man feel hurt, snubbed into submission (though in a very civilised manner )   

emotion

     Random thoughts are not always random nor are they just thoughts which occur in a flash and then go away. even when i see something that i already knew, i ll see, still the excitement the sudden rush of emotion eyes welling up. so today i am not random. Its not easy to explain what experience mixed with imagination topped with emotion can do to a heart. 

     What happens hence forth will depend a lot on what and how i react adapt to the situation life throws at me. It all once again reminds me of my own insignificance in the grand scheme of things where in all i have been able to do is to keep my head above the water and flow with the current

Failure

This is something which can happen in so many forms. Like it is happening with me.
Failure, it can not always be tangible.
Failure to get on time, failure to finish work on time
Failure to win a game of tennis.
And then there are other failures
Failure to win trust failure, to gain respect, failure to to love, failure to be loved unconditionally.
Failure to understand, failure to be understood.
I failed in an exam I can re appear pass it the next time around
It wont be like passing it the first time but I will pass none the less
I fail to win a game of chess I can play again win it the next time
Even if it against someone else a new opponent
One could fail a hundred a thousand times like this and
Still hope win it tomorrow , someday
But can you do that if you fail at winning trust love respect
I will find out if I live long enough
there are things we loose without knowing it
But whenever we fail we fail after having tried for it
Its difficult for it to happen unknowingly.

memories

if we humans didnt have any memories how would that world be . "i think there fore i am " . True but what of
" i remember, what i think, feel, experience therefore i am ." what will happen if we could remove all our memory from us . will there still be An I left .  at all times what ever is happening to us is all like data input into a computer . now what we remember out of it is something we dont seem to have any control over .  today what seems so utterly important we cant even recollect it a few hours days later . give me a few years and i would have managed to erase even the most vivid images from the store house that my barin is .
the way we react in any situation is governed by what ? our memories !! but then which memory ? are these always the ones that we can relate to. sometimes we dont even know know that our reaction was guided by which experience or the memory of it . so then did we really forget anything .
i dont know